Uncovering Complexity

A photo of a cross section of tree bark, revealing many layers.

When you became a parent, did it happen immediately or gradually over time that you became aware of the complex layers within yourself? Isn’t this gift from your child incredible!? Not only are you now pouring into the next generation, but by doing so, you become more aware and in touch with parts of yourself you may not have known were there. ⠀

The next time you experience strong feelings that seem to come up from similar situations over and over, take a pause and reflect. Why does this situation overwhelm or anger you? Where does that rejected feeling come from? What part of your inner self is reaching out to be heard by you?⠀
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These moments of “triggering” in parenthood are so common, and they often point to unmet needs or past experiences from childhood (often, but not always). Use these moments as an opportunity to reflect and extend more deeply into your own healing. As you do this, please withhold judgment from yourself - unmet needs are not a reason to add to your load of shame and judgment. With deep love and understanding simply ask yourself what is being communicated with the current feeling. You may be surprised at the answer.⠀

Once you've identified the unmet need underneath your feeling, make a plan for how you can get that need met. What would nourish this part of yourself? ⠀

This work isn’t easy; you may notice intense feeling surfacing as you begin to listen more intentionally to your internal feelings. Go slowly and don't force it. If this becomes too much, you can put it down and pick it up another time. If you have significant unresolved trauma from your past or you need extra support in this process, you may benefit from reaching out to a therapist or home visitor as you navigate your healing process.

There is opportunity in every challenge. I’m here, cheering you on!⠀